Oscars Fashion Wrap-Up

J rigged the TV yesterday so that I wouldn't miss the Academy Awards...my Superbowl.  Seriously, my biggest TV event of the year.  I LOVE IT.  I got to see the stars walk the red carpet live!  Yay!

Let me start by declaring the ladies from "The Help" the winners of the red carpet.  No matter what happened once they entered the Kodak Theater, they certainly deserve kudos for their amazing fashions on Oscar night.

Viola Davis in Vera Wang.  I adore this gorgeous emerald color, the beaded bust, and the flowy bottom. 

Jessica Chastain in Alexander McQueen.  The gold beading on the black background is a stunning contrast, and you know I'm a sucker for her flowing ginger locks.  Well done.

Octavia Spencer in Tadashi Shoji.  This lady has never. looked. better.  The ruching is in all the right places, the color and beading are exquisite.  She looks like a million bucks.  And I'm so glad she got to take home a trophy.

And then let me move onto the ladies of the 80's.  Did I miss a memo stating that gold lame and over-sized shoulders are back in style?  Because last time I checked, they were a relic from my childhood.

Oh, Meryl.  I am so sad for you.  Sad that you had to give an unexpected acceptance speech in front of a billion people while wearing this travesty from Lanvin.  Funny, it looks so similar to the gown you were wearing when you accepted your last Oscar...in 1983.

Thank God Stacy Keibler had George Clooney as an accessory.  He almost makes up for the fact that she has a GIANT GOLD ROSE on her hip.  This Marchesa gown missed the mark for me.

Mila Jovovich in Elie Saab.  Shoulder pad?  Really?  I think that's all I need to say about that.

Emma Stone in Giambattista Valli.  This would have been lovely, if not for the GIANT BOW threatening to swallow her head.  I wanted to like this, I really did.  But I just cannot get on board with that crazy bow.

Worst dressed of the night?  Definitely this girl.

Shailene Woodley in Valentino.  Somebody get this girl a stylist, stat.  One who knows that SHE'S 20 YEARS OLD!  This dress couldn't possibly be more matronly.  Luckily for her, she also probably got to stand near her costar George Clooney at some point during the evening.

Best dressed?  I know I already mentioned her above, but I cannot get over the beauty of Viola.

The jewel tone against her skin, the earrings, the natural hair...it all just works so beautifully.  Just stunning.

And just to end on a catty note...

The fashion world seems to be in love with Jennifer Lopez's Zuhair Murad dress.  I was not a fan.  JLo quoted Edith Head in her presentation, saying "A dress should be tight enough to show you're a woman, but loose enough to show you're a lady."  HA!  Nothing ladylike here!  I can all but see her nipples peeking out of this gown.  As a matter of fact, the Interwebs are abuzz with the possibility that a wardrobe malfunction did, in fact, occur.  Awkward!

Ick.

Also, Angelina Jolie is one big bore.  She apparently felt that she had to stick her leg out of her way too high slit in order to awaken us from this snooze fest.  Yawn.

This Versace dress is a bore, just like every other dress Angelina has worn lately.