Friday, May 19, 2017

Hell Update, Part 2

Remember when I posted here about that spider that escaped me, but then I had redemption later that evening when that spider, who dared crawl into my bed, got the shoe?

My used to be favorite aunt posted a funny comment in response...calling my peaceful sleep into question...
I thought it was funny at the time, but then that very night, exactly one night after I killed the bed spider, I walked into my bathroom to find this sonofabitch.  HIS FREAKING TWIN.
What in the sweet hell are the chances???

You'd better hope these weren't two of three triplets, Mimi, otherwise I'm going to start shipping them to you!  Beware mail from your favorite niece...

Just kidding!  You're funny and as long as no more spiders show up I still love you!

Thursday, May 18, 2017


Have you seen La La Land?
My mother is very fond of spoiling the plot of movies and shows, and THEN saying "Spoiler alert!"  You know, just to confirm that she has indeed spoiled the plot of the movie for me.  Unlike my mother, I have a firm understanding of what a spoiler alert is, and I will say now in no uncertain terms that I am about to spoil the plot for you.  So if you haven't yet seen the movie and hope to someday, read no further.

In other words, SPOILER ALERT!

Before we watched La La Land last weekend, my sister checked, just to make sure we weren't in for any surprise animal deaths.  The website described the movie as "a lighthearted romp where neither animals nor people are in danger."

Lighthearted, indeed.  This movie was a delight!

I'm a fan of movie musicals.  Every time I visited my grandmother as a child I'd immediately pull out the VHS recordings of "A Chorus Line" and "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers."  They were both on the must-watch list for my visit.  My mom started taking me to the theater at a young age.  I love to sing.  I performed in all of my school musicals.  Did I mention that I love musicals?

Considering this, I was immediately taken in by this movie's opening scene, which featured a crowd of young Hollywood hopefuls singing and dancing atop cars parked in a highway traffic jam.  The fun didn't stop there.  Emma Stone and the oh so dreamy Ryan Gosling couple up.  She, an aspiring actress, and he a jazz musician with dreams of opening his own club.  They sing and dance their way throughout the film, making us think back to Old Hollywood in its style, even though the setting is current day.  Small details in wardrobe and scenery added to the nostalgia brilliantly.

But let's talk about the ending.

I didn't feel so lighthearted about the ending.

Five years after chasing their respective dreams led them in opposite directions, they DO NOT find their way back to one another!  Even though they have proclaimed that they will always love each other!  WHAT GIVES?  I'm a fan of a neat and happy ending, and that's not what I got.

SO, should I be sad that they'll spend the rest of their lives grieving their relationship that wasn't meant to be?  Or was the flashback/fantasy of the lifetime of togetherness just there to illustrate that if they hadn't parted ways when they did, one of them would have had to give up on their dream?  WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN? 

Seriously, I wish they could have it both ways- true love for life and career dreams realized.  But alas, I must be disappointed.  And yet shockingly, despite this, I loved this movie.

What did YOU think about the ending? 

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Tiny Dancer

Oh, Miss Margot, how you stole everyone's hearts this past Saturday.  It was your first dance recital.
 When you and your sweet dance friends walked onto that lit up stage, we heard a collective "awwww" from the audience.  You all were just too cute for words! 
As the music started up, I saw your face searching the audience.  I was sitting in a different seat than I was at your dress rehearsal, and you couldn't find me right away.  But when you did, your smile was so big and bright!  You waved to me and I waved back, and we both smiled and smiled.
 You remembered right away that you had a dance to perform, and you did it!  You twirled and pointed your toes and held your arms up like a ballerina.  We just couldn't take our eyes off of you!  Your sister kept shouting your name.  She was so excited to see you up on that stage!

Everyone agrees, you were the star of the day!  We can't wait to watch you perform again.  

Sunday, May 14, 2017

On This Mother's Day

I am so, so thankful for my babies today.  This is the first year that Gabe has really gotten into Mother's Day.  I thank his teacher for this- his class put on a Mother's Day Tea for us, and it was the most precious thing I've ever been a part of.

He greeted me in the hallway outside his classroom and gave me a special hat that he'd made me for the occasion.  He then offered me his arm and escorted me down the red carpet into the specially decorated classroom.  For the first time in his shy six years, he participated in singing the class songs, in front of an audience, with lyrics so sweet all about how I'm an angel on Earth and he loved me so.  He brought me tea and cookies, and when I offered to share my cookie with him, he declined, and told me that the goodies were all for me.  SOB.

This morning, he insisted on making me breakfast in bed.  He wanted to know what I would like to eat, and he wanted to help J make it, and he wanted to bring it to me himself.  What a little love.

The girls might be less interested in the day, but seeing their little faces peeking into my room and wishing me a happy Mother's Day is all the sweetness I need from my sassy ladies today.  These three little beings that made me a mom- my heart could explode when I think about how much I love them.

(And my husband, who doesn't cook, but who worked with the kids in the kitchen this morning to make me a delicious breakfast.  Who booked a spa day for my ultimate relaxation.  Who gave me these three precious souls- he deserves some recognition for making this day amazing.)

I hope that all of the moms out there who work so hard for their families, who love their children so fiercely, who always put the needs of others in front of their own, have a day that recognizes your awesomeness.

I especially hope this is true for my mom, who has always been the ultimate example of what a good mother should be.

Thursday, May 11, 2017

Hell Update

Last night I walked into my bedroom to see my spider friend, chilling on a pillow on the floor.

I may have actually greeted him out loud: "We meet again.  But this time YOU LOSE, mother fucker."

(Sorry for the language, but that's how much I hate spiders.  Also, I just have a foul mouth)

Lucky for me, J was home.  I stood still as a statue and called for him to come running for a spider assist.  I wasn't about to let that asshole out of my sight again.  I only walked away once J had arrived- I averted my eyes to the carnage.  The spider would no longer haunt me.

And then I slept like a baby. 

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Hell Is...

Trying so hard to take it easy, and rest in bed during afternoon nap time, even though this is typically when I'd be busy getting things done.  And while I'm forcing myself to rest, I catch some movement out of the corner of my eye.  And that movement is a spider.  IN MY BED.  And then I freak out (naturally) and try to jump out of bed as quickly as I can.  But of course, I'm recovering from surgery, so jumping or moving quickly in any way is next to impossible, and wildly painful.  But I move as quickly as I can (ohmygodithurts) and try to find a shoe.  Charlotte wears my shoes everywhere, all the time, and I'm usually irritated that my shoes are left here, there, and everywhere.  But of course at this moment, there are no shoes to be found.  NONE.  WHERE ARE ALL OF MY SHOES??  But I finally find one and run back to my bed (agony!).

The spider is gone.  Lost somewhere in by bedroom.  So now I'm forced to wonder where he is for the rest of my days.  Did he crawl back into my bed?  Will I swallow him in my sleep?  Will he creep into my ear and lay eggs in my brain?

I think this is the real torture.

Monday, May 8, 2017

I'm Not Dead

I promise, I didn't bring the blog back just to disappear for another three years!

Surgery, part deux, happened, and legs have looked better.

Bruising and swelling and oozing, oh my!  I will spare you the gory details, but the short version is this: the extra elephanty skin that was hanging around my thighs is outta here.  Yes, this summer I will resemble Frankenstein, but this monster will be running in shorts!

I will fill you in on a few things I've learned this go 'round:

1. When given the opportunity to trash my healthy eating habits, I will take it and run.  (!)  My brain has pretty much shut down the corner that puts thought into the food going into my mouth.  Dessert after every meal?  Yes, please!  And before you say that there's no such thing as breakfast dessert, a good friend once taught me that ordering a chocolate chip pancake after you've finished your omelet is the perfect way to accomplish breakfast dessert.  I'm blaming the pain for my lack of self-control.  Which brings me to my next point-

2. Grilled cheese and crinkle cut fries are my ultimate comfort food.  Two surgeries in two months, and both times, when I've finally come out of the post-surgical stupor enough to want sustenance, grilled cheese and crinkle fries have been my meal request.  My poor, sweet husband has gone on the hunt twice now.  He's narrowed down the best sandwich, the best fries, and these may or may not be located at the same restaurant.  He's even learned to keep the takeout container open during the car ride home, lest the extra-crispy fries get soggy.  Which brings me to the NEXT point-

3. My husband is the best husband.  He bankrolls my procedures and then takes care of my unreasonable specific requests afterward.  I love him so.

4. And finally, the most important lesson I've learned.  DO NOT, under any circumstances, shop online while under the effects of anesthesia.  Anesthesia amnesia is a real thing, and I know because I experienced it just two short months ago.  I remember very little from either surgery day.  I do remember that it occured to me once I got home last week that my fancy compression garment, which I am forced to wear for every day for the next six weeks, covers about 80% of the skin on my body.  What is a girl to wear over such a garment?  Especially when summer is coming, and it ain't getting any cooler outside!  I thought maybe I should order a few things, so that I could safely leave the house.

And order I did.

I keep getting notification after notification about items that have shipped from here, there, and everywhere.  UPS started delivering today.  It's like Christmas!  I don't remember what I ordered or from where.  Who knows how long the deliveries will continue?  I'll live it up until I have to start returning.



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