My name is Forrest...

Forrest Gump.

One of my all time favorite movies.  Hands-down, top five.  I love this movie so much that I watch it every time it's on TV, even though I know it's so much better on DVD and I can always just pop my copy in the player.

I find Forrest to be such a lovable character.  You just can't help but smile when he tells the President that he's gotta pee.

Ever since I first saw the movie, I've told myself that someday I would read the book.  I love me some readin', and I've almost ALWAYS found the book version of any story to be infinitely better than the movie version.

Sadly, this is not true in the case of Forrest, Forrest Gump.

I just finished reading the novel today, and I couldn't believe how VASTLY different it was from the movie version.

**Spoiler Alert for anyone who may choose to read the novel!**

So, Forrest is a little challenged.  In the book, he's referred to as an "idiot."  Along the way, he meets Jenny, Bubba, and Lieutenant Dan.  These are basically the only similarities to the movie.

In the book, Forrest is a savant in many ways, a champion chess player, gifted musician, able to solve advanced mathematical equations, and is recruited by NASA and sent into space with an ape named Sue who then becomes his best friend.  He plays the "Creature From the Black Lagoon" and meets Raquel Welch.  He befriends "Big Sam," a cannibal king, and defeats the evil pygmies.

Odd happenings for ole' Forrest.

And the kicker?  He doesn't get Jenny in the end!  She marries some other guy and lives happily ever after with her new husband, Doug, and Forrest, Jr.

All-in-all, still an enjoyable read.  I laughed out loud at a few of Forrest's antics.  But a word to the wise?  Don't expect this to be as amazingly amazing as the movie.

Kudos to the screenwriters of the movie, for taking this interesting character and giving him an excellent story.

From the Peanut Gallery- Four Weeks: The Poppy Seed

I am newly pregnant.  After all of the trials and tribulations, heartaches, hopes, dreams, and wishes, I am finally pregnant.

On Sunday, June 13, I realized that I hadn't taken any pregnancy tests yet this cycle.  Several potential testing days had gone by without me peeing on anything.  It was sort of a miracle, as I clearly have a pee-on-a-stick problem.

So I got to peein'.  And I could. not. believe. my. eyes.

Two lines.

It took me several minutes to process what I was seeing.  I walked away, then came back and looked again.  Then I walked away.  Then I came back to look again.  There was definitely something there.  So I grabbed a digital test- foolproof- and tried that one, as well.

My friend Cecie used this kind of test.  She had told me that when she found out she was pregnant, that test took forever to show a result.  There's a little hourglass that flips over again and again while you wait.  Cecie said that her hourglass flipped for minutes before she got her positive result.

So imagine my surprise when that hourglass flipped over and back, then over one more time...and in about ten seconds, the magic word "Pregnant" appeared on its little digital display.

This is when I burst into tears.  And when I say tears, I don't mean the graceful single tear slipping silently down my cheek.  I mean huge, wracking, loud, sloppy sobs.

This sent J running.  We met on the stairs, me on my way down, him on his way up.  I couldn't get the words out.  I simply shoved the digital test in his face.

We stood on the stairs and hugged and cried and cried and hugged for at least five minutes.  (Okay, well I kept up the sloppy crying...J mostly just hugged.)

We called a few family members to share the good news, and enjoyed the day in disbelief.  We went out for a celebratory dinner at The Melting Pot, one of our favorites!

So this week is week four.  And our baby is the size of a poppy seed.  So far, other than the fact that my peaches just tasted off this morning, I don't feel pregnant.  But I say bring on the terrible symptoms.

I've been waiting to feel pregnant for a long time!

New Feature: From the Peanut Gallery

Since discovering that we have our own little "peanut" on the way, I've been blogging- but not publishing- weekly pregnancy updates.  This is yet another way for me to keep far away friends and family and other interested parties up-to-date on all that is happening with me and baby during this wild ride known as pregnancy.  Plus, I am sure I will love looking back on all of this someday!  (You know, when I'm feeling sorry for myself someday and I need to remember that it could be worse...worse like morning sickness.)

I won't bombard you with all of the backlogged entries at one time, but over the next week or two I'll try and get caught up!  Enjoy!

On a serious note...seriously.

**The original body of this entry was written back in April, but I didn't post it.  I just wasn't quite ready for my blog to "go there."  I later revisited this writing, and added to it.  The section entitled "The Next Chapter" was written in June.

I am finally ready to post.**

Trying to make a baby sucks.

In the beginning, there was excitement.  I was SO excited that we were going to do this.  We had only been married for a month when we decided to ditch the BC and start a family.  We were both so anxious to become parents, and we knew that we would be terrific at it.  We had lots of love to give a baby, and so we were ready to make one!  Of course, it didn't happen that first month.  And of course, I cried, because some little part of me really thought that it would happen for us right away.

The next couple of months weren't too bad.  My period showed up every month, but every month I told myself that it was still early.  In the meantime, I started obsessing about my body, my cycle.  I started using ovulation predictors and taking my basal body temperature, keeping charts of what was going on with my body each and every day throughout the cycle.  I did abundant Internet research and came across a website that had numerous forums for those trying to conceive, or "TTC" as the lingo goes.  I spent hours there each day, reading up on the struggles, issues, and happy stories that so many women were experiencing.  I was truly immersed.

After a few months of that, I put the thermometer away and let my subscription to the fertility website expire.  I knew that my cycle was normal, and that everything was doing what it was supposed to do (as far as I can tell at home, anyway).  Those other things were just causing my obsession to deepen, and I knew that it was probably causing more stress than it was worth.

Of course, every month when my period would rear her ugly head, I would have a mini-meltdown.  After we passed the six month mark, the meltdowns started happening more frequently.  Entering month eight now.  Still no positive tests.  Melting down weekly.

I am so overwhelmed with emotions that I just can't keep them in check.  I feel:

• Impatience.  I know that this is a waiting game, but it turns out, I'm no good at waiting.
• Frustration.  Is my body broken?  Is Jason's?  Why isn't this happening for us?
• Jealousy.  I am green with envy.  I am jealous of everyone I know who has a baby, and sometimes I can't bring myself to feel happy for people who announce new pregnancies.
• Guilt.  This is the time in my marriage when I am supposed to just enjoy my husband and marvel at the fact that we're married and get to spend the rest of our lives together.  Why can't I just do that and be happy?
• Anger.  I am more than annoyed whenever anyone tells me to just "relax, and it will happen."  ESPECIALLY when the person who passes along that comment got pregnant without having to think about it.  REGRET also goes hand-in-hand with this one.  I wish that I had never told anyone we were trying.
• Sadness.  Every. Single. Time. I see a baby, I am so sad that I don't have one.
• Fear.  What if something really is wrong with me?  What if we have to take drastic measures that will drain us emotionally and financially?  What if the constant stress and worry damages my marriage?

With emotions running as deep as these, it's no wonder they spill over with more and more frequency.  (And it's also a cruel trick of nature that negative pregnancy tests coincide with PMS.)

Through all of this, though, we will keep trying.

Onward we go, into another new month...

THE NEXT CHAPTER

After another month had passed after the above was written, J had a routine physical.  He mentioned to the doctor that we were having trouble conceiving, and she referred him to a specialist for a quick analysis.

Turns out, we really were working with a problem.

I headed off to my doctor, who quickly scheduled some tests for me (some simple blood tests, some painful, invasive procedures), informing me that it wasn't impossible to get pregnant on our own, just not very likely.

After my test results came back, we would be handed off the to fertility specialist for our IUI (intrauterine insemination) consultation.  Basically, I would be taking injectable medications to cause hyperovulation, then J's swimmers would be deposited exactly where they needed to be, eliminating the need for them to swim at all.  My doc said that assuming all of my tests turned out okay, that our problem could be "easily overcome" by this procedure.

This news came as a shock at first.  I didn't expect to immediately be sent for this kind of help.  It made sense, given our situation, but it was still a little disheartening to hear that making a baby the old fashioned way just wasn't very likely for us.

Then after J and I had thought about it a little, it didn't seem so bad.  As silly as it sounds, we felt a little validated.  That there was a reason that all these tests were turning out negative month after month.

And, we had a plan.  We'd get my tests taken care of so that we could take the results with us to the fertility specialist.  Then hopefully we could get going with the IUI the following month.  It was exciting again to think that within two or three months, I could be pregnant.  What once seemed like an eternity seemed like such a short time before we could have a baby on board.

Although I was a little nervous about all that was going on, I was also anxious for my tests to be done.  Bloodwork- check.  Easy enough, even for me, the one who hates needles.  Now to wait for the call to tell me if all of my hormone levels appeared to be normal- turns out, another complication- they weren't.  But we still needed the whole picture.

The next test was the scary one.  Painful.  Invasive.  Blech.  I was really nervous about this one.  However, I actually said to J, "I just can't wait for my period to get here so we can just get on with this test."

WHOA.  Did those words actually just come out of my mouth??  They sure did.  Again, there was a plan, and I wanted it to MOVE ALONG.

Here's the kicker...while I was busy waiting for my period to arrive so I could schedule the scary test, I was also busy growing a baby.

Yep.  I was pregnant.

And so preoccupied with the plan to make that baby that it didn't even occur to me that maybe we wouldn't need the plan after all.

We did it.  We beat the odds.  We made a baby.

 Baby Anderson!  Due 2/24/11

The furture is now.

So this is our latest purchase:

Turns our, J came with guns.  Me?  Not so much the gun fan.  But I have been pretty cool about them.  (By cool, I mean that twice I've actually touched one of the guns.  I have refused to fire them, however.)

I HAVE been after him for quite sometime, however, to get a safe.  I just feel better about having guns in the house if they're locked safely away.

Enter the amazing "Amazon Deal of the Day."

We got this guy for a steal- a $500 safe for $150.  Awesomeness, no?

The coolest part about this safe?  It's biometric.  Now, I'm not gonna lie.  I originally had to look up what that meant.  Turns out?  It means we don't use keys or a combination to get into this safe...

WE USE OUR FINGERPRINTS!

Yes, people, the future is now.  And it resides in my home.  To get access to the
weapons of mass destruction
perfectly safe handguns, we merely need to place our finger in that little box and it will scan our fingerprint, allowing us entry.

Is that the coolest, or what?

Take THAT, bad guys!

What do you think of this?

I'd like to know, really.

So basically this is an insect repellent that clips on- hence the name.  Yes, that's right, you clip it on.  To your pants.  Like a huge, blue pager from hell.  And you walk around with it.

Now, I'm all for scaring away those pesky mosquitoes.  ESPECIALLY since my blood is evidently SO delicious to them that within minutes of the dusk hour I am suddenly covered with trillions (yes, that's right, TRILLIONS- no melodrama here) of huge, welt-like, itchy, scratchy bites.  However, I am not about to sport a giant blue device on my clothing to keep them away.  That thing will NOT pass for an accessory.

J thinks it looks like a great invention (of course he does).

I think I'll take the smelly spray.

I've been a neglectful blogger...

...and I'm sorry!  I've been preoccupied and unable to devote any much deserved time to the ole' blog.

I do hope to make amends, dear readers, and post something new and exciting soon.

Hang with me for another week, and I'll get my act together- PROMISE!