Just One of Those Things

Apparently March 26th is Epilepsy Awareness Day.  (That's the day I started to write this post, but, you know, life.)

This isn't something I knew or ever really thought about, if I'm being truthful.  It's also the day that Gabe had an EEG, which came back abnormal.

Some of you have been in the loop a little bit, and many of you have heard bits and pieces, but here's the whole story for those of you who'd like to be updated.

About a month ago, we were in the middle of our normal morning routine.  I was busy feeding kids breakfast, packing lunch boxes, gathering backpacks, braiding hair- just like every busy morning in our house.  Gabe was standing next to me, telling me about how he hadn't slept well the night before.  I turned around to grab a folder from the counter, and as soon as I did I heard the unmistakable sound of a head smacking the hardwood floor.

I spun around to see how on earth someone had managed to fall so hard when seemingly nothing had happened, and Gabe was on the ground, having what I was sure was a seizure.

It wasn't the typical seizure that we're used to seeing on TV (or maybe some of you have been unfortunate enough to witness in real life).  There were no full body convulsions.  He didn't lose control of his bladder.  It wasn't violent.  But it was terrifying.  His eyes were rolled back.  His breathing was irregular.  And he was not conscious.

I immediately called 911 and started yelling for another adult in the house.  I'm not sure I was thinking very clearly.  I was definitely in a panic.  But I managed to get through the 911 call and wait for the paramedics to arrive.  Gabe had come to (the episode lasted for about a minute, I think, or maybe a little longer).  He was upset, unsure of what had just happened, and he had a whopper of a headache, but other than that, he seemed fine.

The paramedics arrived and checked him out.  Since we couldn't check all of the boxes that a typical seizure presents, they doubted that was what it was.  They thought it may have been blood sugar related, or that he may have just fainted.  In any case, they gave us the all clear to drive him to the ER on our own.

At the recommendation of the paramedics, we went to a smaller regional ER, rather than make the drive to the big hospital.  We were seen right away, and the testing commenced.  They checked everything we expected them to check.  There was an IV.  There was blood work.  There was a urinalysis.  There were x-rays and a CT scan.  And the doctor performed a basic neurological exam.

Everything looked good, including blood sugar.  The doctor there agreed that it probably wasn't a seizure, but what he called syncope, which is a fancy work for passing out.  There was one funny spot on the CT, which everyone agreed was most likely an "artifact" (kinda like a shadow created by the overlapping images of a CT), but to be absolutely sure, they transferred us to the big hospital for an MRI, which thankfully was also normal.

Gabe was a ROCK STAR through the entire day, which was very long and exhausting.  He only cried twice- once for just a minute when they put the IV in, and another time when they told him it would be a few hours before they came to get him for his MRI.  The poor kid just wanted to go home.

At the end of the day, we had no answers, but thankfully all of the biggest, scariest things had been ruled out.  There were no brain tumors.  No irregularities in his blood work that could signal a bigger issue.  We were sent on our way with instructions to follow up with a neurologist and our pediatrician.    

We had to wait two weeks to get into the pediatric neurologist, which was frustrating, but you gotta do what you gotta do, right?  Meeting with her went pretty much as I expected- we explained the scenario and she ordered an EEG.

Which brings us to March 26th.

They wanted Gabe to sleep during the EEG, so we were instructed to keep him up late and wake him up early.  He got a kick out of this.  He had a caffeinated soda after school, stayed up late with Aunt Laura to watch Ant Man and the Wasp, and J woke him up at 5:30 and took him to Waffle House for a big ole' carby breakfast.  Who wouldn't want a nap after all of that, amiright?

Well, I guess Gabe, that's who.

He didn't sleep.  The situation was just too weird.  He had 22 stickers on his head, he was in some sort of faux hotel room, his mom was sitting in a chair watching him, and lights were flashing in his face.  Thankfully, despite his lack of sleep, they were able to get a good reading and they sent us on our way with promises of someone calling in the next week or so with results.

When we got a phone call only a few short hours later, my mind immediately went to scary places.  Thankfully, the doctor fit us in the very next morning to explain what they had found.

Gabe's brain is pretty consistently "misfiring" in one area.  Thankfully, it is only in one section, and thankfully the spikes are very brief (as in about a fifth of a second).  These spikes aren't a big deal in isolation, but if they happen too often or too close together, a seizure is the result.

Specifically, a complex partial seizure, sometimes known as a focal onset impaired awareness seizure.  This means Gabe had a partial brain seizure, and this is why it didn't look like a normal full body seizure.

We learned that given his brain activity, Gabe is a kid who will be prone to seizures.  Things like a lack of sleep or the onset of a virus could trigger one.  At this point, there is about a 50/50 chance that he'll have another, most likely in the next six months.  If he has a second, the odds of a third and beyond get much higher.  We will discuss preventative medication at that point.  There is also a chance that he'll never have another seizure as long as he lives (we're hoping for that option).  If he does have another, it will be fine.  There are no long term affects on the brain. 

No one can really explain why these spikes are occurring, but the hope is that it's just due to brain development, and that he may one day simply outgrow them.

So now we wait.  We are trying to find a balance between letting him be a kid and live his life, and not letting him wear himself out to the point of exhaustion.  I am trying not to panic when he coughs or gets a weird look on his face.  I am trying not to constantly feel his forehead for a sign of a fever.  We are definitely more concerned about this than he is- he just says he hopes that if there's a next time, he's standing on the carpet with no toys around.

Seriously, this kid is awesome.

In the moment, this was beyond terrifying.  But in the end, it's just one of those things.

Hell Update, Part 2

Remember when I posted here about that spider that escaped me, but then I had redemption later that evening when that spider, who dared crawl into my bed, got the shoe?

My used to be favorite aunt posted a funny comment in response...calling my peaceful sleep into question...

I thought it was funny at the time, but then that very night, exactly one night after I killed the bed spider, I walked into my bathroom to find this sonofabitch.  HIS FREAKING TWIN.

What in the sweet hell are the chances???

You'd better hope these weren't two of three triplets, Mimi, otherwise I'm going to start shipping them to you!  Beware mail from your favorite niece...

Just kidding!  You're funny and as long as no more spiders show up I still love you!

Hell Is...

Trying so hard to take it easy, and rest in bed during afternoon nap time, even though this is typically when I'd be busy getting things done.  And while I'm forcing myself to rest, I catch some movement out of the corner of my eye.  And that movement is a spider.  IN MY BED.  And then I freak out (naturally) and try to jump out of bed as quickly as I can.  But of course, I'm recovering from surgery, so jumping or moving quickly in any way is next to impossible, and wildly painful.  But I move as quickly as I can (ohmygodithurts) and try to find a shoe.  Charlotte wears my shoes everywhere, all the time, and I'm usually irritated that my shoes are left here, there, and everywhere.  But of course at this moment, there are no shoes to be found.  NONE.  WHERE ARE ALL OF MY SHOES??  But I finally find one and run back to my bed (agony!).

The spider is gone.  Lost somewhere in by bedroom.  So now I'm forced to wonder where he is for the rest of my days.  Did he crawl back into my bed?  Will I swallow him in my sleep?  Will he creep into my ear and lay eggs in my brain?

I think this is the real torture.

How Do Babies Do These Things?

He's been sitting like this for the past twenty minutes.  Aside from the occasional head bob, there has been absolutely no movement.

He's either:
a.) been hypnotized
b.) seen the reflection of a basilisk through his plastic Captain Anderson clock and been petrified
or hopefully
c.) asleep sitting up.

Alas, a slow sideways tip, and...

Whew.  That was a close one.

Halloween Wuss

Yes, friends, it is that time of year once again.  And I've gotta say...I've never been happier to be without cable.

The airwaves are inundated with scary stuff every October.  When I was young and spry, I used to love this.  I thought it was fun to be scared.  The Exorcist was a Halloween-time staple.  I'd watch AMC's thirty days of scary movies.  For the month of October, I was a horror genre buff. 

Then I got a little older, and suddenly became more of a wuss.  The horror movies gave me nightmares.  I don't like nightmares.  Scary movies became reserved to the evening of Halloween only.  I could handle one a year, right?

Then, if you remember last year, Paranormal Activity happened.  And it almost ruined my life.

(I'm not being dramatic at all...)

I swear to you, I didn't sleep for weeks.  Maybe it was made worse by the crazy pregnancy hormones, but I have never felt such real middle-of-the-night fear.  Every. single. time. I'd get up to use the bathroom or switch positions (both of which were frequent occurrences with my rotund pregnant shape), I'd have a terrible, horrific image in my head that I couldn't get rid of, and I sometimes literally trembled as I tiptoed to the bathroom.  Maybe by the time Christmas rolled around, I could make it through an occasional night without these nightmares.

I'm being serious, yo.

So this year, we are cable free, and I am blissfully unaware of all the scariness on the boob tube.  THANK THE LORD I haven't had to see even one commercial for Paranormal Activity 3.

And yesterday, J and I did have a Halloween movie day...I chose Beetlejuice and Ghostbusters.  Because that is now how I roll.  I've managed to get into the ghosty spirit without scarring myself for life.  Yay for ridiculous ghost movies that make me laugh and not cry!

On a related note...the nugget will be dressing as a dinosaur tonight.  Pictures to follow.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! 

Happy, non-threatening Disney Halloween image.  My favorite.

30 Day Challenge | Day 18: Fears

My fears fall into two categories: phobias, and completely irrational, crazy, never-gonna-happen fears.

We'll start with my phobia.  It's arachnophobia.  As in, I'm ridiculously afraid of spiders.  (Well, all bugs, really, but especially spiders.)  So much so that I do not care to search for an image of the eight-legged monster to illustrate my phobia.  Instead, I will include the movie poster from the movie Arachnophobia.  Remember that oldie but goodie?  (NOT.) 

How my ten-year-old self ever made it though that movie is beyond me.

And my crazy, irrational fear.  Although I've never been in any kind of serious car accident, I have crazy car fears.  One of them is flipping my car.  The other is crashing into water.  Put these two together, and you have the crazy car accident where my car flips over and lands in water.  I truly want one of those devices that will cut you out of your seat belt and smash your car window so that you can escape the sinking car.  Seriously.  J thinks I'm nuts, but this is the stuff of my nightmares.  

Yep, I'm scared of that.

Unfortunately, spiders are a part of life.  Especially since I live in the south, where bugs just never die.  Here's to hoping that this crazy car situation stays firmly in my nightmares...or something like that.

Happy Halloween!

'Tis the time of year when children dress in costumes and go door-to-door, seeking candy from their neighbors.  Pumpkins are carved into jack-o-lanterns.  Adults sometimes enjoy a fun costume party.  And Betsey watches a scary movie.

I am not normally a big fan of the horror movie.  Why, you ask?  Because I am a big baby, that's why.  My mind cannot stop thinking about the horror and replaying it again and again, leading to a minimum of one sleepless night.  But around Halloween each year, I decide to get into the spirit and watch a scary movie with J.  He actually likes them (if they're good), though he is rarely actually afraid.

Last night, we were both afraid.  Even J claims he had just watched the scariest movie he'd ever seen.

Yes, the quote atop this movie poster is indeed correct.  Paranormal Activity is most definitely one of the scariest movies of all time.  And those guaranteed nightmares?  Yep, I had 'em.

After watching, J and I went to bed.  My brother was here with us...he chose to stay up to watch another movie before bed- definitely a comedy.  I chose to turn the tv on in our bedroom and watch a few old episodes of "Sex and the City"- with the lights still on, of course- until I felt mentally prepared to attempt sleep.

After two episodes, I decided we could turn the lights off, and that I would try to drift off while watching the third episode.

J fell right asleep.  Apparently the whole "demon watching you while you sleep" aspect of the movie hadn't gotten to him like it had gotten to me.  I did finally fall asleep- for about 40 minutes.  This is when I awoke from my first nightmare.  I stayed awake for awhile, trying to think of puppies frolicking in flowery meadows and other such pleasantries, then finally fell back asleep.  Only to awake about an hour later, after my second nightmare.

And so the cycle continued until about 2:30, by which time I was in a complete state of terror.  At this point, I really had to use the bathroom.  Truthfully, I had had to go since about midnight (curse you, pregnant bladder), but was too scared to get out of bed...even though I had left the light on in the bathroom.  Then it dawned on me that J usually wakes up when I get out of bed in the middle of the night.  I wanted him to be awake so badly!  So I started the arduous process of rolling myself out of bed.

Jackpot!  J woke up and asked how I was sleeping.  I told him that I really wasn't, due to all of the horror in the nightmares that wouldn't leave me.  I made him stay awake at least until I returned from the bathroom safely.  Then I realized that even with him awake and holding my hand, I wouldn't be able to fall asleep without taking more drastic measures.

So with J's permission, the tv came back on.  And I turned on "The Little Mermaid."  Because I am a firm believer that nothing bad can happen while "The Little Mermaid" is on.  Right?

Ariel got me from 2:30-4:00.  When that movie ended, I knew that dark and quiet still wasn't an option.  So I turned on "Lady and the Tramp."  (I didn't want to wake J up again flipping through our endless movie database, so I just stuck with the L section and found the first non-threatening-in-any-way movie I saw.)  About halfway through that, I finally gave into the sleep.  And no more nightmares.

Ah, morning light.  How I love you today.

SO- to make a short story long, "Paranormal Activity" is the scariest movie ever. Period.  "Paranormal Activity 2" may give it a run for its money, but I promise you that I will never find out firsthand.  And PLEASE, someone remind me next Halloween that I DO NOT need to watch a scary movie to "get into the spirit."

Pumpkin carving is most likely a much safer bet.

Happy Halloween!