Book Review: Wicked Business

Do you know Janet Evanovich?  Do you love her?

So many readers out there enjoy her light and fluffy literature.  I especially love her Stephanie Plum series, which never fail to make me laugh out loud.

Wicked Business is the second book in her Wicked series, featuring pastry chef Lizzy and the other worldly Diesel.  These two are on a quest for magical stones that represent the seven deadly sins.  They are in a race to get to them first, before Diesels ill-intentioned cousin Wulf.

In this book, they are after the Luxuria stone, which inspires lust.  Now, this is most definitely no 50 Shades of Grey type of lusty novel.  It's more of a comedy, really.  Janet Evanovich's greatest strength, in my opinion, is her cast of supporting players.  The blunders and mishaps that occur while trying to locate this stone are giggle-worthy.

Serious literature, this is not.  Will this book make you pause and think about life, love, or- well, anything, really?  Nope.  But it is silly and entertaining, and it is a perfectly acceptable way to pass the time.  If you like Stephanie Plum, pick this one up.

Book Review: Fifty Shades of Grey

I'm sure you've all been wondering why on earth I haven't updated that "What I'm Reading" link over there on the right side of my page.  For months now, the cover of Fifty Shades of Grey has been featured.  And folks, it's taken me that long to get through it.

It's true that I don't have the time to read like I used to.  Having a youngin' in the house eats up most of my free quiet time, and by the time I get into bed at night, I just want to sleep.  That being said, reading a really good or fun book will force me to make time to read.  Clearly, I did not find myself making time for this book.

I picked it up because I keep hearing about it, everywhere I turn.  It seems like every woman in the world has read this.  So I thought I'd see what all the hype was about.

I am sad to say that I was so disappointed.

I'm not sure what everyone is seeing in this book.  Yes, it has some very spicy sex scenes.  I've heard this series referred to as Mommy Porn, and it's definitely on the erotic side.  Maybe that's the appeal?  It's dangerous?  But the rest of the story is so lacking.

The writing is bad.  The premise is blah.  And the character development is seriously lacking.  Oh, right...did I mention there isn't really a plot?

The main characters are Anastasia Steele, a recent college grad (and virgin) who finds herself in a kinky relationship with hot billionaire S&M enthusiast Christian Grey.  He wants to tie her up and spank her, and she wants more.  If I had to read about this chick's inner goddess or saw the fifty shades reference one more time, I was seriously going to barf.  And really, I've been doing that enough on my own these days without the help of bad literature.

This weekend, I forced myself to sit down and finish the darn thing, so that I could move on.  I realize that this is only the first book in a trilogy, and I have been told that the character development and plot really get going in the second and third books, but I will be passing on the remainder.  To me, even taking the story (or lack thereof) out of the equation, the writing was just so bad that it was painful to get through.

I tried, I really did.  But alas, I found this one to be fifty shades of crap.

The Hunger Games, Revisited

Remember back when I wrote this review about The Hunger Games trilogy?  Yes, it was shocking that I had fallen deeply in love with a science fiction series.  That pretty much goes against everything that I stand for, but it happened.  And I embrace it.

You can imagine my excitement at the recent release of the movie.  J and I don't get the opportunity to hit the theater too often, so I assumed I might just have a wait on my hands to get to see this one.  But lo and behold, while visiting J's family for Easter, they sent us on our merry way so that they could have some nugget time all to themselves.  Huzzah!

Movie versions of beloved books always make me nervous.  I get so wrapped up in stories and characters in my mind, and then I am often so terribly disappointed at their screen portrayal.  Folks, I am happy to report that this was not the case with The Hunger Games.

To the director, actors, and screenwriters, I say BRAVO.

This movie was all of the excitement, angst, terror, sadness, and joy that the book was.  Although I love going to the movies, I usually catch myself checking the time somewhere around the halfway point, to see how much longer there is to go.  During this two-and-a-half hour film, I didn't check the time once.

J said he liked the movie even better than the book.  WHOA.

There were moments where I felt even more emotion watching the story unfold on the screen than I did while reading the words on the page.  UNHEARD OF.

The best part, for me, was my renewed love affair with these characters.  After leaving the theater, I couldn't wait to go home and reread the book.  Which I did.  And finished it in a mere weekend.

Bottom line?  Read these books.  See this movie.  I promise that you won't be sorry.

Book Review: Kill Alex Cross

Folks, I just don't have a lot to say about this one.  Have you read any of the Alex Cross books before?  Yes?  Then this is just what you've come to expect.  James Patterson did not throw us any curve balls here.

If you have not ever read Alex Cross before, I don't expect you to start now.  After all, this is James Patterson's 17th novel featuring the cop/profiler/psychologist/hero.

The main storyline revolves around the kidnapping of the President's children.  Enter hero Alex Cross.  I don't want to give too much away to all of you fans out there who may not have read this one yet, but again, just what you've come to expect.

The secondary storyline may hold some promise, as a terrorist cell has invaded Washington, and the book concludes with some loose ends there.  We will most certainly revisit this again in the next Alex Cross book.

Bottom line?  If you're a fan, I'm sure you'll be fine with this book.  If you've never picked up an Alex Cross book, this probably isn't the one to start with.

Meh. 

Book Review: Explosive Eighteen

Yes, I finished this one quickly.  If you have ever read any of Janet Evanovich's "number" books, you'll know that they are quick, entertaining reads.

Explosive Eighteen was no exception.

Bumbling bounty hunter Stephanie Plum is at it again.  This time, she has not one, but three crazies after her.  Her arch nemesis Joyce Barnhardt is squatting in her apartment.  Her hair is inadvertently dyed "Route 1 Sunrise"- a vibrant mix of fire engine red and school bus yellow.  And, per usual, she's just trying to stay alive.

Her faithful sidekicks are ever present.  Lula gets indigestion and accidentally ingests a love potion.  Grandma is considering becoming a cougar.  And the men- Morelli and Ranger- well, the love triangle remains.

Explosive Eighteen was quintessential Janet Evanovich.  I laughed out loud several times- and I LOVE when a book can make me laugh out loud. 

Four stars out of five.

And for you Evanovich lovers- "One For The Money", starring Katherine Heigl as Stephanie Plum, hits theaters later this month.  Exciting stuff, no?

Book Review: The Shadow of Your Smile

Long ago, I was a Mary Higgins Clark super fan.  Every time she published a new book, I snatched it up and devoured it immediately.  (That was back in the days when I had the free time to devour a book immediately- now, I need some time.)  I loved her mysteries, mixed with just a touch of romance.  I liked the "whodunnits" that she came up with.

As a matter of fact, I read her books so frequently and so voraciously that I figured out her "formula."

I have always been impressed with my mom's ability to figure out who the bad guy was in books and movies.  But maybe this is how my mom does it- she figures out the formulas.  Turns out, I've picked that skill up, and it sucks.  It takes the fun out of reading a story when I already know the surprise ending.

MHC always writes a strong female main character.  She always has two love interests to decide between.  And you always like one just a little bit more than the other.  Turns out, this is a good thing, because that one you like a little bit less is the bad guy.  BAM!  Mystery solved.

After making this discovery, I gave up on MHC.  I didn't want to waste my time reading a mystery when I already knew whodunnit.

But recently, I found myself without a book to read, and the desire for something mindless.  (I realize that MHC's books will never be shelved with the classics.)  I decided to give her another try, and hope for the best.  So I downloaded "The Shadow of Your Smile" onto Katarina the Kindle.

 I am happy to report that in this particular book, MHC strayed from her formula.  Huzzah!  I managed to read the entire book, and be surprised at the surprise ending- well, kinda.

I did not figure out whodunnit.  But I also didn't really care by the time it was revealed who did.  The build-up to the end was entertaining, but the ending itself fizzled.  The declarations of never-ending love after one date were absurd.  The "woman scorned" routine was not exactly ground breaking.  And all of the packages tied up with neat little bows were boring.

But all in all?  I got what I was looking for: a mindless read.  If you have ever been a fan of MHC, I say give this one a shot.  But if you're looking for something truly exciting, thought-provoking, or intelligent?  Maybe skip this one.

Three stars out of five.

And just so you know how I roll?  After finishing up this mindless read, I've got two more on the docket.  I'll take a stab at some more serious literature once I finish "Explosive Eighteen" and "Kill Alex Cross."  Maybe. 

Book Review: The Hangman's Daughter

macabre [muh-kah-bruh]

adjective

1. gruesome and horrifying; ghastly; horrifying

2. of, pertaining to, dealing with, or representing death, especially its grimmer or uglier aspect.

3. of or suggestive of the allegorical dance of death.

Let me start by saying that the only reason I chose this book is beacuse I'm a sucker for a deal.

I get approximately a million "Deal of the Day" emails each morning.  And one day, Amazon's deal was this Kindle download for 99 cents.  I thought, "Sure, why not?" and bought the deal.

I believe that technically, The Hangman's Daughter could fall into the historical fiction genre.  It takes place in the mid-17th century in Germany.  (This is actually a translated version of the originally German text.)  At this time, executioner was a profession in each town.  The hangman was looked upon as the lowest member of society, as were his kin. 

This particular hangman, Jacob Kuisl, happened to be a very good man, even though he was dismissed by all of society.

The story is a mystery.  A group of orphans is being killed off one by one.  On the back of each dead child is found a "witches mark" (or the circle and cross symbol that we now recognize as "female").  The town midwife was immediately blamed, and the town began to call for her to burn at the stake.

The hangman, believing in her innocence, sets out to discover who the real killer is.  He is aided by his daughter, as well as the town physician, who does not care that the townspeople mock him for his association with the executioner.

All in all, the mystery portion of this book was quite good.  I was very engaged in finding out which of the respected townsmen was actually responsible for setting a man known as "The Devil" on a rampage that involved murder and a treasure hunt. 

The murders, executions, and torture, however, were at times a little hard to stomach.  Macabre is truly the best descriptor of this book that I could come up with.

I will say that for 99 cents, this was a worthwhile purchase.  I will say that overall, I enjoyed this book, as I love a good mystery.  I will also say that this is not a book for the faint of heart. 

A mix of murder mystery, suspense, history, with a touch of romance, The Hangman's Daughter is worthy of 3.75 stars out of 5.

I am nothing if not precise.

Book Review: Bossypants

Let me just say that the book starts out with Tina Fey explaining how, based on the maxi-pad commercials on TV, she expected her first period to appear as a blue liquid.  And imagine her dismay when that was not, in fact, what appeared that fateful day.

This lady is funny.

Bossypants is an autobiography of sorts.  But not in the sad-sap-woe-is-me-my-parents-screwed-me-up kinda way.  Tina Fey writes about the major milestones in her life in a very humorous way. 

I learned about the struggle of women trying to make it in the comedy industry- I didn't know they had it so rough!

I learned about how "30 Rock" came to be- turns out, it was all because of Alec Baldwin.

And I learned about Tina's hilarious portrayal of one Sarah Palin on SNL- and the aftermath that followed.  (There was a tiny bit of vulgarity here in response to media scrutiny of this funny parody.  Tina may have told a particular reporter to "suck a bag of dicks," and I may have snorted my beverage right through my nose...)

My favorite chapter was both funny and depressing.  Tina Fey states that since turning 40, she has to immediately take off her pants when she gets home.  She looks back longingly to her 30's, when this was not a necessity.  I, apparently, hit this milestone early.  Since turning 30 (or, who am I kidding, since college), my "real" pants come off and my yoga pants come on immediately upon entering the house.  Such is life.

All in all, I enjoyed this book.  Tina Fey is smart and witty, and this was just plain fun to read.  Four out of five stars!

Book Review (Lite): "The Hunger Games" Trilogy

First of all, I should begin by saying that these books are technically classified in the science fiction genre.  And I read them.

And the kicker?  I loved them.

I thought I should read them, as I had heard so much buzz about them.  The name had come up again and again.  There is a movie in the works.  And since I got Katarina the Kindle, I've definitely picked up the pace with my reading.  I mean, how convenient is it to be able to carry an entire trilogy around in my purse??

Anywho, I thought to myself, "Self, maybe this will be like Harry Potter.  You know, those fantasy books that you decided to read due to all of the hype?  Those fantasy books that you will forever adore?"  (In case you haven't picked up on it, I am typically a hater of all things science fiction and/or fantasy.  Just not my style.)

So, since Katarina was in desperate need of some new material, I downloaded the first book.

I finished reading "The Hunger Games" in record time, and immediately downloaded its two companions, "Catching Fire" and "Mockingjay."  You really must read all three, and it is truly one continuing story. 

Although yes, this story is technically science fiction (as it does contain technology that has not yet been invented, as J pointed out to me was the definition of the genre), it is really so much more than that.  The science plays such a minor role in the story.  The characters make the story.  The story makes the story.  Suzanne Collins can tell a story.

Katniss Everdeen, our protagonist, is a hero.  Standing up for and protecting her family, no matter the personal cost.  Peeta, her friend, such a loving, good-to-the-core boy.  Haymitch, their mentor, made a bitter drunk by the ghosts of his past.  These three are forced to make their respective ways through a terrible contest called "The Hunger Games," where 24 children are sent into an arena to fight to the death, last survivor takes all.

I call this a Book Review (Lite) because I don't want to say too much.  This may be the first time that I've finished a book and asked J to read it.  I just knew he'd like it.  This is a rarity, as those science fiction and/or fantasy books that I so dislike?  Well, he's a fan. 

What I can say is that the story enthralled me.  Unsettled me in the way that only good literature can.  It has stuck with me.  My advice?  Read it. 

In other book news, I have decided to give Oprah's Book Club books another shot, as I inadvertently read a  couple and loved them while in a book club a couple of years ago.  But since making a conscious effort to choose these books, I have been wildly disappointed.  "The Story of Edgar Sawtelle" I literally stopped reading midway through, as I couldn't handle all of the sad Sawtelle dog stuff.  I am currently about halfway through "She's Come Undone," and not enjoying it at all.  Even though terrible things have happened in her life, I cannot get over the terrible things that Dolores Price does, and I find her a completely unsympathetic character.  And who can forget the Anna Karenina debacle of last year?


And in other book news still, just so you know I'm not a secret fantasy and/or science fiction lover in the closet- I also tried to read a couple other wildly hyped about vampire series.  And for the record, I found Twilight to be sheer and utter crap, and the first Sookie Stackhouse novel to be slightly less crappy, but still not good by any stretch of the imagination.  Hate me if you will.

Entertainment Recap

Although I feel crazy busy with the little man, turns out, I know some stuff about books and television.  This would be due to the fact that I spend lots o' time nursing.  For the most part, I lose the use of my hands during these times (hence the lack of blogging), but I do manage to stay caught up on the DVR, and am reading like a fiend, holding my Kindle in one hand and my baby in the other!

A recap on recent events:

-TELEVISION- 

American Idol- SPOILER ALERT- Thank you, judges, for saving Casey, because I kinda heart him.  But they sent PIA packing last night?  America, you so crazy.  Loving the talent this season.  And can I get a shout out to my hometown boy Scotty?  WOO!

Modern Family- always hilarious.  'Nuff said.

The Kennedys- DVR'd and next on my list.  Looking forward to this one.

Felicity- remember this show??  I L.O.V.E.D. this show.  She and I went through college together.  J downloaded the series for me, and I am currently re-watching the entire thing.  I've just started the last season, and can't wait to see (again!) if she chooses Ben or Noel in the end.  (Yes, I already know who she chooses...but it's fun to pretend.)

-BOOKS-

Water for Elephants- Amazing.  I have trouble with anything involving badness to animals, and there was a fair amount of the badness in this book.  But the fact that I was able to get past that and love the story anyway speaks volumes.  We'll see if Reese Witherspoon and Robert Pattinson do it justice in the movie version soon to come.

The Red Tent- Liked, not loved.  Wonderful relationships between mothers and their children, which I enjoyed.  But the rest of the story just wasn't spectacular to me.  Definitely good, and loved by many, so still worth a read!






The Help- Again, amazing.  Such a touching way to tell the story of the civil rights movement in the south.  Incredibly well-written.  I just read that this will also be made into a movie.  I have high hopes.

H is for Homicide- More like H is for Horrible (ba-dum-dum).  I thought after all of the heavy, dramatic books I had finished, some lighter fare might be nice.  Turns out, not so much.  

So readers, any recommendations for good shows, movies, or books that I should check out? 

My (Not-So) Professional Opinion

I just finished reading the acclaimed, #1 best-seller, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo.  This book is so buzzed about, is being made into an American movie (after already being made into a Swedish one), and is the subject of book clubs everywhere.

My opinion? In short: it stinks.

The book is approximately 600 pages long.  I was engaged in the story for about 200 of them.  It took the entire first half of the book to introduce the cast of characters and build the necessary background knowledge.  That was some S.L.O.W. reading.  The main characters didn't even meet one another until this halfway point.

The murder mystery portion of the story, while intriguing, only played out over 150 pages, or so.  At this point in my reading, I became excited, and thought that maybe the book was worthwhile, after all.  But then it seems as if mystery solved, action over- and I still have over 100 pages left to read.  What could the author possibly talk about for another 100 pages??

The answer: not much.  What played out in the end could have been summed up in 20 pages, rather than 120.

This book took me months to finish- which is not like me.  However, I am really quite stubborn about abandoning a book once I've started it, even if I don't enjoy it.  (Remember the Anna Karenina debacle?  If you've forgotten, you can read about it here.)  I powered through until the bitter end.

And I mean bitter.  SO not worth it, in my opinion.

SO, if any of you readers have read and enjoyed this book, care to enlighten me?  Because I feel as though I surely must have missed something!  What is it about this book that is such a sensation??

My name is Forrest...

Forrest Gump.

One of my all time favorite movies.  Hands-down, top five.  I love this movie so much that I watch it every time it's on TV, even though I know it's so much better on DVD and I can always just pop my copy in the player.

I find Forrest to be such a lovable character.  You just can't help but smile when he tells the President that he's gotta pee.

Ever since I first saw the movie, I've told myself that someday I would read the book.  I love me some readin', and I've almost ALWAYS found the book version of any story to be infinitely better than the movie version.

Sadly, this is not true in the case of Forrest, Forrest Gump.

I just finished reading the novel today, and I couldn't believe how VASTLY different it was from the movie version.

**Spoiler Alert for anyone who may choose to read the novel!**

So, Forrest is a little challenged.  In the book, he's referred to as an "idiot."  Along the way, he meets Jenny, Bubba, and Lieutenant Dan.  These are basically the only similarities to the movie.

In the book, Forrest is a savant in many ways, a champion chess player, gifted musician, able to solve advanced mathematical equations, and is recruited by NASA and sent into space with an ape named Sue who then becomes his best friend.  He plays the "Creature From the Black Lagoon" and meets Raquel Welch.  He befriends "Big Sam," a cannibal king, and defeats the evil pygmies.

Odd happenings for ole' Forrest.

And the kicker?  He doesn't get Jenny in the end!  She marries some other guy and lives happily ever after with her new husband, Doug, and Forrest, Jr.

All-in-all, still an enjoyable read.  I laughed out loud at a few of Forrest's antics.  But a word to the wise?  Don't expect this to be as amazingly amazing as the movie.

Kudos to the screenwriters of the movie, for taking this interesting character and giving him an excellent story.

Classic Literature: Epic Fail

I have a tendency to read crap.  Not quite such lowly fare as Harlequin romance novels, but your typical, run of the mill mystery, by the author who cranks out a new book every over month.

However, once in awhile, I get the urge to read something good.  Respected.  Classic.  And maybe, just maybe, it has appeared on Oprah's book club reading lists.  You see, I long to be well-read.  I'm an avid reader, just an avid reader of sub-par literature.


I used to be morally opposed to Oprah's book club.  I just didn't understand why just because the goddess of television recommended a book, said book had to immediately become a best seller.  Did anyone ever stop to think that maybe Oprah has crappy taste in literature?

But then last year I joined a book club.  Two of the books we read, Middlesex, by Jeffrey Eugenides, and East of Eden, by John Steinbeck, just happened to be former Oprah picks.  And let me just say-
I loved. these. books.

As a matter of fact, I so enjoyed these books, as well as others that my extremely well-read former roomie suggested to me, that I thought I would try and make my way through Oprah's book lists.

Enter Anna Karenina.

Why I thought Tolstoy would be a good place to start is beyond me.

I went to my friendly neighborhood library and checked out the only copy of Anna.  (I can see why there was only one copy...I don't imagine it's a hot commodity.)  I began reading, and realized immediately that a 130 year old book that has been translated from Russian is not an easy read.

The book was due back at the library before I knew it.  I, of course, wasn't done.  (Not only was it a tough read, it was also about a million pages long.)  So I renewed.  And kept reading.  New due date was upon me before I knew it...renewed again.  And again.  And so on, and so on, et cetera...

That was approximately six months ago.  And today is a monumentous day.  I have finally finished the book.

As I was reading, there were a few points where I felt as though the story was getting interesting.  Those moments were short lived.  But I held out hope that once I got to the ending, everything would come together for me, and the story would somehow make sense in a wonderfully wonderful way.

Turns out- not so much.

The main character turned out to be completely unlikable.  Early on in the story, I felt for Anna, since she was trapped in a loveless marriage and was then scorned publicly after leaving her husband for her true love.  But it turns out, nothing could make her happy, and I will admit that after her constant annoying tantrums, I smiled a little smile when she finally threw herself under a train.

The secondary characters didn't really have any point to the story at all.  So glad I wasted a thousand pages worth of my time reading about them.

Final thoughts: I CAN'T WAIT to get to the beach in two weeks.  I plan on reading at least five books of pure crap.

Oh, yeah...and screw you, Oprah.