It's 2019, Yo

It's a new year.  Let's catch up!

We spent a wonderful holiday season together.  The kids were home, Jason had some time off of work, we had a revolving door of family members here to visit.  It was a lovely end to a CUH-RAZY month.  Guys, I mommed so hard, trying to prepare the perfect Christmas for all of my loved ones.  I am not complaining- I love Christmas, and all of the magic that comes along with it.  But it's a lot of work.  Shopping, wrapping, baking, gifting, planning activities, class parties, watching ALL OF THE CHRISTMAS MOVIES.  (J is a real hard ass when it comes to the Christmas movies.  There can be NO Christmas programming on the TV before we have finished the Thanksgiving turkey, and really, I want to watch Elf once a week.  So in December, I do.  Also, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.)  It was a great time full of food, drink, family, and love.

Meanwhile, I've kept up running as much as my knee will allow (which honestly, isn't that much- BOO.)  But before my knee started to crap out, I did a couple of things.  I ran my first beer mile.  Chug a beer, run a quarter of a mile, repeat x 4.  It was super amazing fun.  I was a little nervous coming into it, because it had been somewhere in the neighborhood of 15 years since I've chugged a beer.  But as it turns out, it's just like riding a bike!  Y'all, this girl can CHUG.  I was the third place female finisher.  I could have maybe come in second, but I was too nervous to look down at my watch to check my pace.  Next year, I'm moving up the ranks.

I also won my first age group award!  I was initially feeling a little sad and left out that I wasn't able to run my beloved Holly Springs Half Marathon.  But when race day came and I was gearing up to run the 5k, I realized there was a benefit to being one of those running the short race- all of the fast, distance runners were running the half, leaving not that many people behind for the shorter race.  I considered for the first time that maybe I could place in the top three ladies in my age group.  And I did it!  I came in FIRST.  It felt great, and for the first time I considered some new running goals that don't involve long distances.

Technically, J beat me by 2 seconds.  But official race results list me before him, so basically I win.

There have been activities galore.  We went to the state fair and a pumpkin farm, I saw Hamilton (AMAZING!), it snowed for a hot minute and the kiddos got soaked, we had a girls day at The Nutcracker, we moved a bunch of stuff from one home to another...

That's right!  We have a new roommate.  My sister moved in a few weeks ago.  She'll be staying with us while she finishes grad school.  My kids are pretty much obsessed with her, which is fine, because she's obsessed with them right back.  We're excited to have a built-in babysitter.  Also, watch out world, because our Wonder Twin powers are activating.  We have serious twin telepathy going on since becoming roomies.  Yes, I know we are ten years apart, but twinsies nonetheless.

That's a tiny nutshell of all of our goings-on, but maybe now that life is getting back to normal (kids in school, yay!), I'll have spare time in an amount longer than 1.4 seconds.

Happy new year and love to all in 2019! 

All the Feels

Thanks to a friend's request, I'm getting my shit together and sitting down at the computer.

Quite honestly, I have no decent excuse for not writing sooner (unless "avoiding your feelings" is a decent excuse?).  After all, I've been doing a whole lotta sitting for the past five weeks...

Let me back it up a minute.  On November 29th, knee surgery happened.  Arthritis has been bothering me for years.  I was a young 29 years old the first time I saw a doctor for knee pain, and x-rays showed osteoarthritis then.  My mom's joints have also suffered for years, so it's definitely in the genes.   

At the time of the initial diagnosis, I used knee pain as an excuse to pretty much sit on my ass and do nothing (and we all know how that worked out).  Even though I added a bunch more weight to my already heavy body, hey, at least my knees didn't hurt!  We also all know that one day I got fed up with the way I looked, and worked really hard to get into shape.  That meant a lot of crazy workouts, and eventually a lot of running.  And then a lot of knee pain.

SO...after an amazing finish at my second half marathon this year, I headed into surgery the following week.  The doctor expected to be able to just clean up some damaged cartilage and send me walking on my way, but unfortunately, the damage was worse than expected, resulting in a microfracture procedure.  This means that I am now five weeks into six weeks of post-op crutches while my knee heals...and about a month into the 6-9 months before I'll be allowed to run again.

So now you're caught up.        

I've been working through a whole lot of emotions since the procedure.  I knew there was a slight chance that the surgery could go down this way.  (I remember coming out of anesthesia and immediately mumbling "microfracture?," and then bawling when they told me yes.)  However, the doctor made it seem like a pretty remote chance.  And I knew that running would be a far way off if the microfracture were required, but I had no idea that I wouldn't be able to walk without crutches for six weeks post-op.  So yes, I've shed more than I few tears lately.

I cried first of all for running.  Running has most definitely become more than just a form of exercise that lets me eat dessert and drink beer and still maintain my weight loss.  Running has become a passion, a part of my life, a part of who I am.  It took months of regular running and even finishing a half marathon before I could refer to myself as a runner, but I got there.  I earned it.  And I loved it.  I improved so much over the past year.  I got stronger and faster.  And I loved it.  So to have that taken away for such a long time, when I was expecting to only be sidelined for 4-6 weeks, was very hard.

But I'm working through that.  I am learning to look to the long-term.  You know, the whole "short term loss, long term gain" state of mind.  I want to run for years and years.  And in order to ensure that can happen, this surgery was necessary.  It will also be necessary for me to back my mileage way down, which means this past half marathon was quite likely my last.  That fact required a mourning of its own, but I'd rather be able to run a few miles at a time than none at all.

After I cried many tears for running, I started to cry tears of helplessness.  I am a mom of young children.  I am the keeper of our household.  I am the one who handles things when things need handled.  Crutches pretty much brought that to a screeching halt.

I can use neither my feet, nor my hands.  I can hobble from one place to another, but I cannot carry anything other than my crutches.  I can shift laundry from the washer to the dryer, but I can't get it to the laundry room when it needs to be washed or to the kids' bedrooms after it's been dried and folded.  I can probably put something into the microwave, but I can't stand on my feet long enough to bake all of the Christmas cookies that Margot and I usually bake together at Christmastime.  I can give hugs, but I can't pick Charlotte up.

Feeling helpless has been extremely difficult.  But I know this is temporary, and I have gotten to see how amazing my husband is on a whole new level.  He has stepped up and taken care of EV-ER-Y-THING.  He puts the kids to bed every night so I don't always have to navigate the stairs.  He picks up the house after they get to sleep so that the mess won't make me crazy (or trip me while I'm trying to crutch around).  He cooks meals (with direction).  He drops Margot off at preschool on his way into the office and runs my errands on his way home.  He pushes me around Target in a wheelchair when I need a minute to get out of the house.  I didn't know it was possible to love him more than I already did, but I sure do now. 

I have also cried tears of anxiety.  Anxiety over what is happening to my weight while I'm doing all of this sitting.  And while I know it's not healthy, I eat my feelings.  I'm feeling sad and sorry for myself, so I eat something crappy.  And then I'm sad because I ate something crappy and can't run it off.  And then I'm sad that I can't run, so I eat something crappy.  See where I'm going here?  It's a downward spiral.

But I've lost weight before, and I'll lose it again.  I am DYING to get into the gym.  Thankfully, although I won't be allowed to run for several months, I will be able to bike and swim ahead of that.  I bought a new swimsuit and some goggles, and I'm excited to make swimming a part of my workout routine that is easy on my joints.

So there you have it.  The whole sea of emotions that I've been wallowing in over here.  Thank God that Christmas was thrown in as the ultimate, weeks-long distraction, otherwise I'd be drowning by now!

Now count it down with me...SEVEN more days until I can toss these crutches outta my life and try to regain a little bit of the normalcy that I've lost!  Until then, there will probably be some more crying over here.

On This Mother's Day

I am so, so thankful for my babies today.  This is the first year that Gabe has really gotten into Mother's Day.  I thank his teacher for this- his class put on a Mother's Day Tea for us, and it was the most precious thing I've ever been a part of.

He greeted me in the hallway outside his classroom and gave me a special hat that he'd made me for the occasion.  He then offered me his arm and escorted me down the red carpet into the specially decorated classroom.  For the first time in his shy six years, he participated in singing the class songs, in front of an audience, with lyrics so sweet all about how I'm an angel on Earth and he loved me so.  He brought me tea and cookies, and when I offered to share my cookie with him, he declined, and told me that the goodies were all for me.  SOB.

This morning, he insisted on making me breakfast in bed.  He wanted to know what I would like to eat, and he wanted to help J make it, and he wanted to bring it to me himself.  What a little love.

The girls might be less interested in the day, but seeing their little faces peeking into my room and wishing me a happy Mother's Day is all the sweetness I need from my sassy ladies today.  These three little beings that made me a mom- my heart could explode when I think about how much I love them.

(And my husband, who doesn't cook, but who worked with the kids in the kitchen this morning to make me a delicious breakfast.  Who booked a spa day for my ultimate relaxation.  Who gave me these three precious souls- he deserves some recognition for making this day amazing.)

I hope that all of the moms out there who work so hard for their families, who love their children so fiercely, who always put the needs of others in front of their own, have a day that recognizes your awesomeness.

I especially hope this is true for my mom, who has always been the ultimate example of what a good mother should be.

Holiday Traditions in the Making

It is no secret that I LOVE the holiday season.  Every year I am so excited to decorate the tree, hang the lights, watch Christmas movies, shop for the perfect gifst, bake a million cookies.  This year, my excitement has doubled (if not tripled or perchance even quadrupled).

There is something so special about starting holiday traditions with my own little family.

Now that the nugget is a year older, I cannot wait to share all of my holiday excitement with him.  I know that he's still a little too young to really know what's going on, but I feel like he's old enough to realize that it's something out of the ordinary and special.

So far, we have gone to pick out Gabe's 2012 ornament for the tree (Epic fail.  He picked a truck, of course, but would have no part of said truck hanging on the tree out of his reach for playing.  Said truck is now "all gone," hiding in the back of the tree where it cannot be seen.  Try again next year!), I have purchased his Christmas jammies and story book for Christmas Eve (a tradition that I am carrying on from the Nana), and we have watched a few Christmas specials here and there.

And this past weekend, we took Gabe to his very first parade.  Neither J nor myself could even remember the last time we had been to a parade.  This was made painfully obvious when we found a parking spot and started to unload the car, only to realize that we had been so stupid as to not bring chairs or even a blanket to sit on.  (I blame the pregnancy brain.)  But we soldiered on to our chosen spot, which was luckily right outside of a Rite Aid.  J promptly purchased us a little blanket to save our backsides from the wet grass.

Gabe loved it.  He watched and watched, occasionally waving to the paraders, clapping his hands, pointing, and oohing and aahing at all of the cars.  Some classic cars, some race cars, some mini-Shriner-cars, some big trucks hauling floats, and also some motorcycles thrown in for good measure. He also caught on quickly to the fact that candy was being thrown.  Man, did he love that lollipop...

The many faces of Gabe.  

I am so looking forward to the rest of this magical month with my boys.

Holiday Nostalgia

I can remember when I was a kid, JC Penny would put out this HUGE holiday catalog each year.  It was full of everything your heart could ever desire to purchase.  I remember the excitement when this catalog would arrive.  I would impatiently flip past all of the adult clothing and home goods to get to the good stuff...the toys.  I would then take a crayon or marker and put giant red circles around all of the things I wanted for Christmas.  I'm pretty sure I circled a drum set every year, along with one of those power wheels pink convertibles.  Along with about a hundred other toys that I was never going to get.  Luckily I also had a sensible side, and would throw the occasional circle around a reasonable gift.

This week, Fisher Price, those sneaky bastards, sent us a Holiday 2012 catalog.  Look who is following in his mama's footsteps:

The nugget has spent days flipping through the pages of this magazine, quite literally "ooohing" and "aaahing" while pointing repeatedly at the toys he likes the best.  It is utterly adorable.

Gabe's wish list for Santa has officially begun.

A Happy Father's Day

Yes, I know I'm late.  You know I never post on the weekends, and well, Monday just got away from me.  What can I say?

In any case, we had a lovely Father's Day in our happy household.  J, being the prince that he is, let me sleep in, even though it was his special day.  When I awoke from my peaceful slumber, I quickly whipped up some waffles and bacon for my main squeeze, and we enjoyed a nice family breakfast.  After our meal, the nugget and I gave Daddy a few gifts, then let him enjoy unlimited x-box time.  Really, there are few things in life that make him happier.

After nap time (both mine and Gabe's), we took a trip to the pool, and splashed and played in the late afternoon sun.  It was a delightful family outing.  We ended the evening with one of J's favorite meals.  All in all, such a nice family day.

J, I must say, you are an even better father than I imagined you'd be.  Thank you for loving that nugget the way that you do, for taking care of him, for wanting to spend time with him, for looking forward to all of the fun times to come with him. 

And to my own dad, thank you for helping to raise me to be the woman I am today.  I imagine that I have you to thank for knowing what kind of guy I should choose to be the father to my own children.

You dads deserve to be celebrated!

Resolutions

With all the craziness of the past few weeks, the new year sneaked up on me.  I was busy Christmasing, then party hostessing, and it never occurred to me to look ahead to 2012 with any resolutions in mind.

So I said to myself, "Self, what should your new year's resolutions be?"

And the answer that I came up with?  I don't wanna make any.  It seems like every year I come up with a list of things I'd like to accomplish in the coming year, and inevitably, I fail to meet my goals.  I set unreasonable expectations for myself.  So this year, I'm just not going to do it.  Instead, I will say that there are some general lifestyle choices that I would like to keep in mind. 

I think it would be good to try and live a healthier lifestyle.  Try to get a few more veggies on my plate, and be more active.  I WILL NOT resolve to give up dessert, to spend four hours a week on the elliptical, or to lose x number of pounds.  

I would like to make it a priority to spend quality time with my family.  I WILL NOT resolve to spend hours making sure that there is an exciting craft, outing, or activity planned for each weekend.  Sometimes, quality time can be playing on the floor with our boy, and watching a movie together after he goes to bed.

I would like to do a good job managing our money.  Ideally, this means spending responsibly, in such a way that there is some extra money to be saved at the end of each month.  I WILL NOT resolve to keep my grocery bill under $100 each week, to never eat at a restaurant again, or to live a spartan existence.  Responsibility is all I am asking of myself.

I'd like to read books, laugh often, build things with blocks, not sweat the small stuff, bake a terrific cake,  go on dates with my husband, make memories with my son. 

I want to love life.

Looking ahead to 2012 with these ideas in mind- not resolutions- makes me smile.  I am positive that the year 2012 will be a happy one. 

 

Back To The Grind

Whew!  These past two weeks off have been a complete whirlwind.  Celebrating three Christmases and a New Year was thoroughly exhausting, and I now need a vacation from my vacation.  Alas, work has beckoned, and return, I must.

I left my little man with the sitter this morning.

I must say that aside from the craziness that the holidays inevitably bring, I simply adored soaking up every minute that I could with my little sweet pea.  (As did his extended family.)  Did I suck a blogging?  Yes.  Did I instead spend that time playing on the floor with my boy?  Yes.  Regrets?  Not so much.

But, since I have been neglecting you, dear readers, let me catch you up on the goings-on of late.

The Nugget: Since his ten month post, he has completely given up on baby food (the real stuff is so much better!), begun standing up while playing, dancing, watching TV, or any other time he pleases, taken one step unassisted, and officially spoken his first word.  Mama?  No.  Dada?  Not it, either.  What could it possibly be, you ask?  No.  That little ginger of mine just might turn out to be the feisty type that redheads are rumored to be.  His first official word is NO.   

The Husband: J began a new job.  An opportunity for bigger and better things came along, and J seized it.  We are very excited about good things to come.  And as a side note, the company has free soda for their employees- need change for the vending machine?  Not J.  Coolness.

The Wife: I have been busy holding down the fort, playing the role of stay-at-home-mom and loving every second of it.  (But that's no surprise to any of you.) 

I think that about covers it.  You're officially caught up.  And now that we're all settling back into our routines, post-vacation, I'll bring back my blogging A-game.  Bring it, 2012.

Happy New Year!

Gabe is awfully excited about 2012- and this cool balloon.  Hope the new year brings nothing but joy and goodness to you all!

Baby's First Christmas

This Christmas season, being baby's first, we decided to see how long we could make Christmas last.  So we celebrated Faux Christmas, Mini-Christmas, and Christmas Christmas.

Christmas number one: We made the long drive to Cincinnati to see my family.  My brother Scott, needing a ride home from school, drove up with us.  Unfortunately, J's new job prevented him from joining us on this leg of Christmas.  But we made it safe and sound, and the nugget got to enjoy some much needed time with Grammy and Grampy.  Aunt Laura was also dying to see the boy!  We had lots of fun visiting, and celebrating Faux Christmas.  A movie, followed by dinner at Carrabas for Faux Christmas Eve, then dinner at home and a sibling gift exchange on Faux Christmas.  Faux Christmas also marked Gabe's ten month birthday!

Christmas number two: Since J couldn't join us in Cincinnati, I brought all of our gifts back home.  My sister, being the absolute gem that she is, made the drive back with us, so that I wouldn't be all by my lonesome with a crabby baby in the backseat.  (Actually, he was only crabby in North Carolina...but that last stretch of the trip is a decent three hours.  Good times.)  Once we put her on a flight back to Ohio, our little family celebrated our own Mini-Christmas, and opened the gifts from my family.  This is where Gabe opened his very first present!  Turns out, tearing the paper was only fun for a minute, then he moved onto playing with some boxes, and finally ignored Mini Christmas altogether and went back to his toybox.

Christmas number three: On Christmas Eve, we piled back into the car and drove to New Bern to see J's family.  Everyone there was anxious to see the nugget, as well!  We spent the day together visiting and catching up.  On Christmas Christmas, Gabe gave his parents the gift of sleeping in.  The boy didn't wake up until 7:45!  When we made our way downstairs, everyone was waiting for us.  We dove into gifts and then spent a lovely day together.

It was wonderful to get to see and spend time with family this holiday season.  I'd say baby's first Christmas was a huge success!

Christmas Shopping

It's done.  BAM!

This year, I have taken the pressure off of myself to buy something perfect and expensive for everyone on my list.  Instead, I've looked for something that's perfect and inexpensive. 

Let me let you all in on a little secret...it need not cost tons of money to make someone happy.  (Okay, this is not exactly a secret.  But it's something that I sometimes forget.  So I guess it's more of a something-everybody-knows-but-sometimes-need-reminding-of kinda situation.)

J and I have worked really hard on our finances this year, and Christmas just isn't the time to blow it.  We are not buying gifts for one another, or even for Gabe.  He is too little to notice, and besides that, his grandparents are absolutely certain to spoil him rotten.  My personal gift to him will be allowing him to tear paper to his tiny heart's content.  This makes him happy.

It feels so good to have everyone checked off my list, and to have chosen gifts that I think our loved ones will genuinely enjoy.  I believe I'll go ahead and wrap this weekend, put things under the tree, and call it done!

Ah, Christmas.  I love it.

And now, I will leave you with a morsel of holiday cuteness.

The nugget, with Santa.

Busy

I like to make lists.  I like to write down things that I need to get done.  It helps me to stay organized and on top of my game.   

And the very best thing about making lists?  I get to cross items off once they've been completed.

There are not many feelings better than that in this wide world.  Of course, all the mushy gushy feelings are wonderful, but crossing items off of my "To Do" list gives me a sense of accomplishment.  I like feeling accomplished.

Folks, I'm working on a mega list these next few days.  There are many things to be done leading up to Turkey Day.  (Have I told you all yet that the crazy everynookandcrannyofhousemustbeclean thing that came over me during pregnancy never went away?  I dusted the vacuum cleaner last week, people.)

There is much cleaning to be done.  There is much food to be prepared.  There is decorating to do, playlists to be created, linens to be laundered, errands to be run, dogs to be trained not to go ape shit crazy when guests arrive (a girl can dream, right?). 

Point?  I'll be one busy lady these next few days.  So forgive me if the blog is lacking.

I love the ole' blog, but alas, it did not make the 'To Do" list for the remainder of the week.

Restraint

I really have to exercise restraint this time of year.  You see, I love Christmas.  It is such a happy time of year.  I love the family gatherings, the exchanging of gifts, the meals prepared with love, the decorations, the beautiful lights, the movies, the music...

Clearly, there's not much about Christmas that I don't like.

I could easily get wrapped up in my holiday revelry around Labor Day if I'm not careful.

I've always had a hard and fast rule with myself: Christmas celebrating does not begin until after Thanksgiving.  This means no music, no tree, no watching of all of the movies.  No lights, no wreaths, no nothin'.

It appears I may have broken my rule.

In my defense, it was completely on accident.  You see, the radio station that I regularly listen to pulled a fast one on me, and switched their normal classic rock playlist to one of holiday joy.  They have never done this in years past!  Usually, the day after Thanksgiving, I switch the radio in my car to the Christmas music station.  This year, I got in the car innocently enough, expecting to hear my norm.  I was shocked and amazed by what I heard- but I didn't change the station.

'Tis true.  The music makes me happy.  And now that I've heard it, I'm hooked.  I will not be changing the station.

Also, I've officially amended my hard and fast rule: Christmas revelry may now begin anytime after Veteran's Day.  ;)

Dinosaur Roar!

How cute is this nugget?

Watching for the trick-or-treaters with Daddy.

Sick baby, sad dinosaur face.

Reaching for some candy.

Milky Way is Mama's favorite, too!

Playing with our sweet lion neighbor, Will.

Halloween Wuss

Yes, friends, it is that time of year once again.  And I've gotta say...I've never been happier to be without cable.

The airwaves are inundated with scary stuff every October.  When I was young and spry, I used to love this.  I thought it was fun to be scared.  The Exorcist was a Halloween-time staple.  I'd watch AMC's thirty days of scary movies.  For the month of October, I was a horror genre buff. 

Then I got a little older, and suddenly became more of a wuss.  The horror movies gave me nightmares.  I don't like nightmares.  Scary movies became reserved to the evening of Halloween only.  I could handle one a year, right?

Then, if you remember last year, Paranormal Activity happened.  And it almost ruined my life.

(I'm not being dramatic at all...)

I swear to you, I didn't sleep for weeks.  Maybe it was made worse by the crazy pregnancy hormones, but I have never felt such real middle-of-the-night fear.  Every. single. time. I'd get up to use the bathroom or switch positions (both of which were frequent occurrences with my rotund pregnant shape), I'd have a terrible, horrific image in my head that I couldn't get rid of, and I sometimes literally trembled as I tiptoed to the bathroom.  Maybe by the time Christmas rolled around, I could make it through an occasional night without these nightmares.

I'm being serious, yo.

So this year, we are cable free, and I am blissfully unaware of all the scariness on the boob tube.  THANK THE LORD I haven't had to see even one commercial for Paranormal Activity 3.

And yesterday, J and I did have a Halloween movie day...I chose Beetlejuice and Ghostbusters.  Because that is now how I roll.  I've managed to get into the ghosty spirit without scarring myself for life.  Yay for ridiculous ghost movies that make me laugh and not cry!

On a related note...the nugget will be dressing as a dinosaur tonight.  Pictures to follow.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! 

Happy, non-threatening Disney Halloween image.  My favorite.

Muppet Smile

I call this Gabe's Muppet smile.

Looks just like Kermit's smile, no?

Perhaps I should dress him up as such this Halloween?

Cuteness.  That is all.