Hell Update, Part 2

Remember when I posted here about that spider that escaped me, but then I had redemption later that evening when that spider, who dared crawl into my bed, got the shoe?

My used to be favorite aunt posted a funny comment in response...calling my peaceful sleep into question...

I thought it was funny at the time, but then that very night, exactly one night after I killed the bed spider, I walked into my bathroom to find this sonofabitch.  HIS FREAKING TWIN.

What in the sweet hell are the chances???

You'd better hope these weren't two of three triplets, Mimi, otherwise I'm going to start shipping them to you!  Beware mail from your favorite niece...

Just kidding!  You're funny and as long as no more spiders show up I still love you!

Hell Update

Last night I walked into my bedroom to see my spider friend, chilling on a pillow on the floor.

I may have actually greeted him out loud: "We meet again.  But this time YOU LOSE, mother fucker."

(Sorry for the language, but that's how much I hate spiders.  Also, I just have a foul mouth)

Lucky for me, J was home.  I stood still as a statue and called for him to come running for a spider assist.  I wasn't about to let that asshole out of my sight again.  I only walked away once J had arrived- I averted my eyes to the carnage.  The spider would no longer haunt me.

And then I slept like a baby. 

Hell Is...

Trying so hard to take it easy, and rest in bed during afternoon nap time, even though this is typically when I'd be busy getting things done.  And while I'm forcing myself to rest, I catch some movement out of the corner of my eye.  And that movement is a spider.  IN MY BED.  And then I freak out (naturally) and try to jump out of bed as quickly as I can.  But of course, I'm recovering from surgery, so jumping or moving quickly in any way is next to impossible, and wildly painful.  But I move as quickly as I can (ohmygodithurts) and try to find a shoe.  Charlotte wears my shoes everywhere, all the time, and I'm usually irritated that my shoes are left here, there, and everywhere.  But of course at this moment, there are no shoes to be found.  NONE.  WHERE ARE ALL OF MY SHOES??  But I finally find one and run back to my bed (agony!).

The spider is gone.  Lost somewhere in by bedroom.  So now I'm forced to wonder where he is for the rest of my days.  Did he crawl back into my bed?  Will I swallow him in my sleep?  Will he creep into my ear and lay eggs in my brain?

I think this is the real torture.

Buzz...

Yet more evidence that spring has sprung...

My holly bushes are blooming!  They're healthy, green, and have blossoms everywhere.

The bad news about this?  BEES!!  Bumblebees, honey bees, yellow jackets, and all matter of buzzing predators.  They're EVERYWHERE.  Swarming my front door.   

So if you need a laugh?  Drive by my house sometime when I'm coming or going.  You'll find me sitting in my car for an inordinate amount of time, keeping an eye out for a break in bee activity.  Then once I feel as though it's safe, I'll slowly get out of the car, then run wildly to the front door, flailing my arms about to scare off any potential stingers, whining all the while.

The pollen can leave any day now, please.