The Most Vulnerable Post Ever

Post-weight loss plastic surgery.  I had it.  I wrote about it here and here, and a bunch of other times.  And today you get to hear about it one more time.

Today I had my 3/5 month follow-up visit with the surgeon (we combined follow-ups so that I didn't have to live at the office).  This is the visit where they took the 'after' photos to accompany the 'before' shots that were taken at my pre-op visits.  These are always a good time- I get to wear tiny disposable thong underwear and stand in awkward positions while a nurse takes my picture.

These pictures, guys.  They threw me for a loop.

Recovery from these operations was hard.  Some days, really really hard.  There were days when I wondered if I'd done the right thing.  I hated the forced laying around, I felt depressed because of all of the pain every minute of every day for weeks on end, I missed picking up my babies, I wanted to get up and run but couldn't.  These were some rough days.  

Now that I've made it to the other side, I have worries of a different kind.  I worry about gaining the weight back.  I get concerned about eating too much or not working out enough.  And because I am a woman, I still sit in judgement of my body every day. 

Sometimes, if I let myself, I can get caught up in all of that.

Today, these photos brought me back to reality.

Reality is that my body is amazing.  It is strong.  It is healthy.  And I put a helluva lot of work into getting it to that point.  The reason I had these surgeries in the fist place is because it sucked to work so hard to lose so much weight, and still hate the way I looked in the mirror.  My body was strong and healthy then, too, you just couldn't see it beneath the extra skin and loose fat deposits that no amount of exercise would get rid of.

You can see it now.

When the doctor showed me these photos in his office today, I broke down and cried.  I can't even put my finger on why.  Pride for accomplishing a goal, relief that this chapter of my life is behind me, joy that my outward appearance finally matches my inner strength.  The photos put things into perspective somehow, and I'm an emotional hot mess over here.

I can't believe I'm putting this out there for the world to see, but here you have it- my 'before' and 'after.'  I think J probably put it best when he said "worth every penny."  If you need me, I'll just be here staring at these pictures and crying all day.

    

Caught Up with Bad TV

So pretty much a major reason why I've been MIA is because I've been spending the few free minutes I can find in the day watching TV that I couldn't seem to break up with.

Can we PLEASE talk about Twin Peaks???

So I know this show is super old, but I can remember hearing so much about it when I was a kid!  I thought it must be incredibly grown up, full of mystery and intrigue, with a truly shocking story.  As it's summertime, and most of my go-to TV shows are on hiatus for the season, I thought I'd look for a summer series to stream while I work out.  Twin Peaks appeared one day as one of  Hulu's advertised shows, and I thought it would surely be the perfect choice.

I started watching.  The first thing that hit me was the hair and wardrobe.  When I think of 1990, it's just not that long ago in my mind!  However, I was quickly reminded that 1990 was almost 30 years ago.  Shit, I'm old. 

Anywho, Season 1 was not too shabby.  A mystery all about a dead teenager.  Who killed Laura Palmer?  There were so many suspects, plenty of intrigue, and just a dash of weirdness.  Several likable characters made it worth watching.

And then came Season 2...

What in the world???  Turns out that Twin Peaks is quite possibly the strangest show ever put on television, and not in a good way.  We found out who killed Laura Palmer early in the season, and it was all totally downhill from there. 

I have a problem.  I can't seem to break up with books or shows, even when I don't enjoy them.  I know Mad Men was all the rage, but truthfully?  I thought it was kinda boring.  AND I STILL WATCHED EVERY LAST EPISODE.  Thankfully Twin Peaks is only two seasons long, because the story became so scattered and bizarro that multiple further seasons may have killed me.

I'm pretty sure that a new character was introduced about every other episode.  Toward the second half of the season, we were working with about ten different sub-plots.  At lease half of those sub-plots were left unresolved when the show ended.  There were several characters who may have lived, or maybe died.  Who knows?  Because the show never told us.

Messy endings are the stuff of nightmares in my world.  I prefer things tied up neat and tidy, thankyouverymuch.

So really- WHY WAS THIS SHOW SUCH A BIG DEAL IN THE NINETIES?  Why did everyone love it so?  It was NOT good.  

So the fact that I've spent all of my free time finishing this series that I didn't even like isn't even the worst news here, guys.  J told me that there's a follow-up movie that was made, and now a new series.  And I, of course, feel compelled to watch these things.  I have questions, and I need answers. 

Fingers crossed that I'll get them without feeling like I'm utterly wasting my life.