A Note on Codependency

I've got it.

This is a little surprising, seeing as how I used to be fiercely independent.  I took a job in a state away from all of my family and friends, and packed up and moved to North Carolina knowing virtually no one.  I got myself set up in my first apartment, started my job, and made friends.  A few years down the road, I bought my own house and got myself a dog. 

Of course, there were times when I was lonely.  If you've read this blog long enough, you'll know by now that all I ever wanted out of life was to be a wife and mother.  But I waited for those things to come along, while in the meantime I paid my own bills, kept up the maintenance on my house and car, got a Master's degree, excelled at my career, and kept up a fantastic social life.  I even attended many weddings without a date.  I didn't need one.  I had a great time on my own.

And then J came along...

You should know that we've lived together for more than three years now, and I still can't wait for him to get home from work every night.  I literally am so excited to hang out with my husband at the end of the day, every day.  Around 4:00 each afternoon, I start to get antsy, waiting for his message that he's on his way home. 

Well this week, J is on a business trip.  His first business trip since starting to work for this company.  And it's a doozy.  He's in SPAIN.  Across the ocean and six time zones away from me.  And this will be the longest we've been apart, ever, since we met.

It's only a week.  And I know many wives wouldn't even bat an eye about this.  But it's not my favorite thing.

J and I are together all the time.  We rarely do things without the other.  Not because we hold each other back, but because we just don't really want to.  We truly prefer to spend our time together.  Don't get me wrong, we are not permanently joined at the hip- J has his bi-monthly Dorkapalooza (Dungeons and Dragons group) and I have the occasional girl's night out.  But for the most part, we stick together.

So I scratch my head and ask myself how one who was once so independent has become the girl who cries when her husband leaves for a week?  Maybe it's because I waited so long to find the right one that I just don't like to let him go?  And the same goes for him?  I really don't know.

What I do know is that suddenly, noises in my house scare me.  I triple check that the doors are locked before bed, and I regret that I never learned how to shoot that gun that I was so upset about J bringing into the house in the first place.  I don't sleep well, because the bed just feels weird when I have it all to myself.  I have completely forgotten how to cook for one, and find myself eating cereal for dinner.

So I have come to the realization that I've caught codependency.  I like knowing that I can depend on my husband, and that he depends on me right back.  I don't regret the loss of my independence, because I feel like this is so much better.

Yep, I've caught codependency.  And you know what?  It doesn't bother me. 

Except for when J is on a business trip...

30 Days of Thankfulness

There's a lot of this going around on Facebook and in the Blogosphere.  I thought I'd participate, but in a less-than-daily format.  This month, each Friday I will post about things that I have been thankful for during that week.  I think this is such a nice way to remember what this time of year is all about- presents.

Just kidding.  Of course, it's about the love of family and friends, and celebration of all the good in our lives. 

So here goes!

Tuesday, November 1- On the first day of the month, I am thankful for my husband.  He is truly my best friend and partner in all that I do.  Also, he has already given me the greatest gift in the world, which leads me to...

Wednesday, November 2- I am thankful for my beautiful, funny, perfect baby boy.  He has brought such joy to my life.  Each and every moment of mommyhood has been precious to me.

Thursday, November 3- I am thankful for the medical professionals of the world.  My nugget has not been well (nor has his mommy), and thanks to some great doctors and nurses, it looks like everyone is finally on the mend.

Friday, November 4- I am thankful for my family.  They are really so much fun.  I am so grateful that I have the kind of family who I actually want to be around, and look forward to spending time with.  (Even as a teenager, I could say this about my parents- crazy, huh?)  A special shout out to my brother Scott, who tonight will be babysitting so that J and I can have dinner together before he leaves for a business trip tomorrow.

Project Runway Wrap-Up

WARNING:  If you are really behind, like, more behind than me, stop reading now, as I am about to reveal the winner of Project Runway.

Yes, friends, I am behind.  Behind on both watching the finale of my beloved show, and behind on posting about it.

But it was worth the wait.  I am a happy girl.

Well, mostly happy.  The downside of not having cable is that I have to wait until after the show has aired for J to be able to download it, then wait another day or two for him to get it added to our system to be viewed.  While in the midst of this waiting game, I accidentally broke my own rule about opening the People app on my phone, and saw a headline and photo revealing the winner before I had a chance to watch.  If you could have seen the fit I threw, you would have giggled for sure.  I'm talking actual fit, complete with feet kicking and expletives flowing.  I was pretty upset.

But I digress.

J happened to be around while I was watching the finale, part one.  I told him that I would actually, truly, and for reals die if Anya didn't win this season.

I'm ALIVE!

I don't recall another season when I felt so strongly about one designer winning over another.  I am usually so impressed with all of the finalists that I find myself hard pressed to choose a favorite.  ( I can, however, usually choose a least favorite, but this usually has more to do with bitchiness than design.  Except for this year- I just don't get that Joshua McKinley's style.)

This season, it just HAD to be Anya.  She was, in my opinion, so far and away the best designer of the bunch.  From the very beginning, she just exhibited such fantastic style.  I really loved the vibe of her final collection.  This is a girl who knows herself, knows her aesthetic, knows her customer, knows fashion.

And for those that question her sewing ability, to you I say pish posh.  She won't have to do all of the actual sewing of her designs, anyway.  She can hire people to do that. 

Here are some of my favorite Anya designs this season.

Want. This. Jumpsuit.

So beachy and flowy, with a fabulous neckline.

Love the print, love the single sleeve.  Just love.

Honorable mention shout out to Viktor Luna.  I think he got a little lost with his final collection, but overall, I believe is a fabulous designer.  Also, if he would like to send me the white jacket from his final look, pleaseandthankyou, I would be a happy girl.

Horrifying

I stumbled across this news story this morning, and I am utterly horrified. 

Let me sum it up for you.  A pregnant mother eats a sandwich as she grocery shops, saves the wrapper to pay for said sandwich when she checks out, but leaves the store, forgetting to pay for her snack.  She and her husband are then arrested, and their two year old daughter taken into custody by Child Protective Services.

RIDICULOUS.

The couple made an honest mistake, and upon realization of what had happened, immediately offered to pay the less than $5 for the sandwiches.  The store wouldn't allow it.  They were arrested for shoplifting, separated from their daughter overnight for the first time ever, and humiliated beyond belief.

I cannot believe that something like this was ever allowed to happen.  Let me be the first to say that this could easily have been me.  There was more than one occasion where my pregnant self openly snacked on items at the grocery store before paying for them.  Hey, when you're pregnant, sometimes eating is a necessity rightthisverysecond.  It's either that, or hurl all over the floor.

I sincerely hope that this couple sues Safeway and makes a bundle. 

"Upgrade"

My work computer was just re-imaged.  I've been "upgraded" to an inferior web browser and slower speeds.  Awesome.  Way to keep up with the times, WCPSS.  Bravo. 

My Guilty Pleasure Gone Wrong

'Tis true.  I am obsessed with all things Kardashian.  (And I may occasionally watch The Real Housewives of insert city here.) 

Just two weeks ago, I was after J nonstop to download the fairy tale wedding extravaganza of Kim and Kris.  I couldn't wait to see the over-the-top glamour that this wedding would most certainly be.  And I was not disappointed.

**Well, okay, maybe I was a titch disappointed.  I was not a fan of Kim's (3!) dresses, or the crazy diamond headpiece she wore during the ceremony.**

I was uber excited to watch this two part E! special.  And now, a mere 72 days after this fabulous wedding took place, Kimmie has filed for divorce.

SHOCKING.

Only not really.  It seemed on the show that the two didn't know each other that well.  They may have moved too fast.  (And this, coming from someone who got engaged a mere five months after meeting the guy.)  They spent much of their courtship, if you will, on opposite coasts.

And now that they're married, word on the street is that Kris isn't dealing well with the constant presence of camera crews, and Kim thought he knew what he was signing on for.  Kris wants to retire to the midwest and raise a family, while Kim wants to be in the constant limelight of celebrity.

Warning: A tiny rant to follow.

Why on earth would someone give up the marriage instead of the reality show?!?!  This only shows that the sacredness of marriage means nothing to my dearest Kardashian.  The vows that she took clearly meant nothing to her compared to her beloved "brand."  Marriage means "'til death do us part," not "'til this rough patch cramps my style."

End rant.

Word on the street also has it that poor Kris was blindsided by the divorce filing, saying that he loves Kim and would do anything to save their union.  Apparently, he learned about the divorce from Ryan Seacrest, just like the rest of us.

WOW.

I suppose now I have no choice but to continue to watch the saga unfold on reality TV. 

For shame. 

Villains

With all the talk of (non)scary movies, I got to thinking about movie villains.  J and I were talking about this this weekend, as we watched the Harry Potter channel.  (Yep, when you make your own TV, you can do stuff like have a Harry Potter channel.)

I believe that the character of Dolores Umbridge in the Harry Potter movies is perhaps my most hated movie villain of all time.

Don't let her stupid smile, her cup of tea, or her love of kittens fool you.  This bitch is pure evil.

Every time she clears her throat with her teeny, tiny "ahem", I get so enraged that I want to kick her in her stupid face.

A little overboard?  Perhaps.  But not really.

Seriously, the filmmakers of this series did such an incredible job of making her so very hateable that it is almost painful to watch the movies.  Almost.

And the kicker here?  She's not even really the bad guy (although she is certainly not a good guy)!  Clearly, Lord Voldemort is the ultimate villain in the world of Harry Potter.  And yet I don't have the same physical, clenchy reaction when he is onscreen. 

So BRAVO, makers of the Harry Potter films.  I hate Dolores Umbridge the most.  Movie villainy at its finest.